I want to preface this to say that physical health or unhealth is vulnerable for me, actually this whole blog is vulnerable.
Back at the beginning of 2017 the Lord spoke the word “Wholeness” over me. Wholeness means coming into alignment with the Father emotionally, spiritually, financially, and physically. A lot of 2017 was about emotional and spiritual wholeness.
Specifically for 2018 I have been praying for physical alignment. I desire to be physically healthy. Most of this year I have struggled with regulating my thyroid levels.
Health lesson: the thyroid gland is an organ in your neck that regulates the hormones in your body… this effects your mental, emotional, and physical health. So my thyroid gland does not produce enough hormones in my body and two of the most common symptoms I have experienced are extreme fatigue and weight gain.
Honestly have felt a lot of shame over these two symptoms. I have had more than one person say to me that I look like a shell of myself. They have said this out of concern, but the lie that I have been believing is that I did this to myself. There are days where it is hard to get out of bed and I want to be able to walk or exercise but I just can’t will my body to move. I have a total lack of control over my body. I can’t will myself to move. There have been days where I have felt like I was trapped in my own body. Because in my head I know what is healthy and I want to do things that I just can’t. This has been going on for about 7 months.
A promise that the Lord has said to me many times over the past 2 years is “I will take care of you.”
So fast forward to the beginning of May. I reached out to the office manager at my eye doctor (in Mississippi) to get contacts for when I am in the field for 5 months squad leading. He asked me to come into the office later that week because he had an idea.
On May 9th the Lord highlighted Isaiah 43:14-21
This is what the Lord says—your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“For your sakes I will send an army against Babylon,
forcing the Babylonians to flee in those ships they are so proud of.
I am the Lord, your Holy One,
Israel’s Creator and King.
I am the Lord, who opened a way through the waters,
making a dry path through the sea. I called forth the mighty army of Egypt
with all its chariots and horses.
I drew them beneath the waves, and they drowned,
their lives snuffed out like a smoldering candlewick.
“But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
The wild animals in the fields will thank me,
the jackals and owls, too,
for giving them water in the desert.
Yes, I will make rivers in the dry wasteland
so my chosen people can be refreshed.
I have made Israel for myself,
and they will someday honor me before the whole world.
The Lord specifically said to me… “Trust in the new things, even if they don’t make sense.”
So I went to the eye doctor May 11th thinking I was picking up contacts. I walked in and the office manager asked the assistant to look at my eyes to check something…
He then proceeds to tell me that they partner with Lasik companies that do one or two free surgeries a year and I am a missionary so he wants to see if my eyes qualify for Lasik for FREE. My eyes looked good that day so I went back for one more appointment June 14 and on June 26th I had Lasik done on my eyes and I didn’t pay anything for it.
Before the actual surgery the doctor came and she prayed for me and for herself. She prayed for how these new eyes would continue to affect my ministry and where the Lord takes me. The Father was in all of it. It was so cool!
So now I won’t have to wear glasses or contacts anymore, ever and I can see.
People have asked, “how did you get free lasik?” And my response has been, “Jesus.”
In the midst of all the thyroid things the Lord said, “I want to give you a free gift. I want to give you new eyes.”
I’m not very good a receiving gifts. My pride often gets in the way and I feel like I have to repay the thing or that I don’t deserve the gift.
I didn’t make sense because my eyes weren’t really the problem.
Then I was listening to a song yesterday and one of the lines said…”you stopped at nothing, to prove You were for us.”
So Jesus gave me new eyes for a few reasons that I can comprehend at the moment…
to show me he is for me
to remind me he will take care of me
to show me that I am so worthy of good gifts
to show me that he is faithful… remember Isaiah 43:14-21.
he is giving me a new viewpoint, a new perspective… I am shedding an old life.
Jesus is so good and I am so loved.
Also check out this song that pretty much sums up this season…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbJaM_EneMw&t=0s&index=66&list=PLAJmX0CQentaMmrYwDnwU1ygmvlCkvt99
We’re doing the thing!
Much love, Carson
